In an age where our phones are never more than an arms-length away, forms of communication, such as letters, are becoming obsolete. Although putting a pen to paper seems old fashioned, writing to a penpal can expand your worldview past the 40 acres.
A penpal is someone from a different place who you communicate with through a series of letters. There are many reasons to have a penpal, such as practicing a foreign language, learning more about a different culture or just finding someone to talk to.
Journalism freshman Arabelle Diedrich found a penpal from Peru through a program that her friend set up. She said that having a penpal from a different country is a good way to learn about new cultures.
“You have these preconceived notions of what a country is like and how the people there are going to be, but we’re all just kids,” Diedrich said. “So I think the coolest part is to find out that we have all of these shared interests, and it’s cool that you can communicate with someone from that far away.”
Although Diedrich found her penpal through a program, there are also digital ways to find a penpal. After seeing “penpal with me” videos on YouTube, Speech, Language, and Hearing Sciences sophomore Ryanne Anderson said that she thought penpalling would be a good way to combine her love of stationary and writing letters. She found her penpals through the comments section of a TikTok video.
“(A TikTok user) made a video that was ‘comment below and find a penpal’,” Anderson said. “I responded to a couple comments and talked to a bunch of people (but) only two ended up working out. We exchanged Instagrams to play it safe and to make sure that we both felt comfortable before we gave each other our addresses and it just kind of went from there — from a comment, to actually talking, to writing letters.”
Aside from TikTok, other social media platforms such as Instagram or Reddit have different penpal communities that you can explore. I found my penpal after falling into the “journaling side” of Instagram. However, each platform’s penpal communities will be different, so if you can’t find a suitable penpal on one platform, try looking somewhere else! There may be more people who have similar interests to penpal with. For example, while the Instagram community emphasizes the creative aspect of penpalling, the r/penpals subreddit has people who prioritize the letters themselves.
Once finding a penpal is out of the way, it’s time for the fun part: writing the letter. Usually you can start with an introductory letter, and that might reveal some shared interests you want to talk about. No matter the content of the correspondence, it’s important to make sure there’s a give and take. You’ll want to ask questions about your penpal, but also make sure you’re being descriptive about your own life to give them something to respond to.
Anderson said that she’s developed a formula for writing her penpal letters.
“I’ll do a life update in the letter and answer some questions they had asked in the (previous) letter,” Anderson said. “Then there’ll be a portion of a bunch of questions and then answers to all of their questions. Those can be anything, just random things you want to know. And then we always send each other playlists to talk about music.”
Along with the letter itself, you can also include small gifts such as stationary or artwork. Anderson exchanges tea bags with one of her pen pals after they discovered a shared love of tea. If penpalling with someone from a different country or place, this can be especially cool, as you can get a piece of their country through the letter. For example, one of my penpals lives in Germany, so after the 2020 election, I sent her an “I voted” sticker.
While I enjoy writing the letters themselves, I think that decorating the envelopes is just as fun. After all, who doesn’t love opening their mailbox to a beautifully decorated envelope? However, not everyone who wants a penpal will have the same artistic tendencies, so if one of the reasons you’re penpalling is for the decorations, you might be better off looking for someone who feels the same. Anderson said that she tried to find someone who also wanted decorative letters so it wouldn’t put pressure on the other person.
“I love writing letters and I love reading about people’s lives, but I also love making super cute things and don’t want to make this super cute thing and then have them feel like they also have to do that,” Anderson said.
There are multiple different ways to decorate your envelopes. I tend to base my decorations off of a central color and use various mediums such as stickers, washi tape and paper that fit the color scheme. I also like to layer materials in a collage style, using color swatches, old book pages and other scraps of paper. If you’re pressed for time or don’t have anything on hand, doodles with a pen also work well.
For those looking to start penpalling, Diedrich recommends asking questions to get to know your penpal better, as well as being patient with correspondents who may not speak English as their first language.
“Ask as many questions as you can about how their experience is in their own environment so you can get a sense of what society is like outside of your own,” Diedrich said. “(Also) be patient with your penpal (because) if you’re picking someone from a country where English is probably their second language, they may not know how to communicate in the best way with you.”
Anderson’s advice to people looking to penpal is to prioritize safety, but also to get to know the person you’re penpalling with.
“I think it’s important to build that connection by asking questions to someone because then they feel valued and seen and will want to respond and be more inclined to ask you questions, and it’s always fun to talk about yourself,” Anderson said. “And then just have fun, and it doesn’t have to be anything fancy… It’s great stress relief.”
Whether looking to form new connections or to travel without leaving the comforting humidity of Texas, penpalling can be a vacation to a new place, all for the cost of a stamp and an envelope.
Featured image by Morgan Scruggs