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Best Of The Worst: Headlines


By Sydney Mahl

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It’s said that when something is posted on the Internet, it’s on there forever.  In the case of these headlines, journalists are wishing they weren’t.

 

Here’s a roundup of the ten of the best worst headlines ever written thanks to Columbia Journalism Review’s Lower Case archives:

 

 

This ban is incredibly ambitious.  Honestly, I don’t like birds and think pigeons are unreasonably shifty, so this is probably the only governmental ban you’ll catch me supporting.

 

https://twitter.com/ShaneBeattyKFM/status/821394728142905345

 

That is not a headline I’d want my picture paired with, if I was a male.

 

Columbia Journalism Review/ Canton Rep 1/5/17

 

This headline placement, ladies and gentleman, illustrates the sheer importance of a good layout designer.

 

 

I feel really bad for Turkey’s foreign minister, Mevlüt Çavuşoğlu. This headline sounds like a turkey has figured out who the attacker is.

 

Where do I sign up?

 

Columbia Journalism Review/ The Star-Ledger of Newark, New Jersey, 7/7/2016

 

Not just once, but 30 times!  Science defies all reason at Union house!!!

 

 

Shoutout to Neill Woelk for the hilarious commentary.  Couldn’t have said it better myself.

 

Columbia Journalism Review/ The Royal Gazette (Bermuda) 5/9/1985

 

Safety first!

 

Columbia Journalism Review/ East Oregonian (Pendleton, Ore.) 1/25/85

 

This headline makes suit pressing sound super threatening and exotic.  What do Israeli suit pressers have that we don’t?  We need answers, Sharon.

 

Columbia Journalism Review/ The Montogomery Journal (Montgomery County. Md.) 8/8/84

 

His parents always did say he was a little too good at Monopoly…